Wednesday, February 29

JESUS SHAVES

I've said a lot about Victory Bible Church. At times I've been harsh, I'll admit. But as you can see, sometimes they kind of deserve it. It's hard to take a church seriously when they can't even get their only source of marketing right. This has been up since Monday and either the entire congregation...
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Saturday, February 25

OH FOR F@$K'S SAKE! WHITNEY HOUSTON EDITION

The first thing that I thought about when I heard Whitney Houston died was "yeah, that's about right," immediately followed by, "oh great, now we'll have to hear about it non-stop for the next two weeks." I was right. It reminded me of the Michael Jackson death orgy of '09. Much like Jackson, everyone seems to put on their rose-colored glasses to look back at her life and career....
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Wednesday, February 22

DEATH BECOMES ME?

Once I had a discussion about whether it would be better to die slowly or suddenly? A morose topic I know. I didn't even blink and said "suddenly." My attitude about death is that I'm not afraid of it, I just don't want to know it's happening. Like in the case of nuclear war, I just want that bomb...
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Thursday, February 16

FAMILY VALUES

Wow, what a pick me up on a Monday morning. Why not just have a bullet for breakfast? This reminds me something that Bill Hicks once said: "Hey buddy, my Daddy died for that flag..." "Really?'Cause I just bought mine." My Dad just co-signed for a car...
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Tuesday, February 14

RETURN POLICY?

Much like milk, God has an expiration date. I found this one when I was clearing out old photos. I can't believe that I missed it. Anyway, it's all the way back from Black Friday. I wonder if they had lines like Targe...
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Thursday, February 9

NEVER STOPS BEING FUNNY

So for the past four days Mark and I have been marveling at this one. There is so much wrong that I don't know where to begin. It's gotten to the point where I want to call them and say, "you know, you really need to fire whoever is writing your signs. You're not getting your message across. Or at least...
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Wednesday, February 8

NO-FRIEND-O

Believe it or not, there was a time when I was even lazier than I am now. I know, wow, right? Well, I'll admit that I had a little help in the form of marijuana, but all it really did was bring out my full slug potential. The pinnacle of my slacker/stoner/loser phase was the summer that I lived at the...
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Friday, February 3

I MIGHT AS WELL COOK

I've been doing Weight Watchers for awhile now. Or, should I say I had been doing Weight Watchers for awhile. In recent months I've kinda let the point-counting fall by the wayside in lieu of things like pizza and Girl Scout cookies. I know, I know, not the best attitude after all that hard work, but...
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