My intentions were to write about the progress on the new house as it happened. I thought that it could be like your real-time window into the soul sucking process that it was and continues to be. However, because it was such an unforeseen pit of despair for my spirit and my wallet, it’s taking me...
Wednesday, June 24
Tuesday, June 16
THE MYSTERY OF MIRTH
I got culture. On occasion, I have even been known to read things other than Star Weekly and Us Magazine. However, I do love anything that I can read cover-to-cover in 30 minutes flat. Plus, it makes me feel really smart, if not really fat and smart. Yet, I always find my way back to books. Most of mine are worn, torn and barely in one piece, but that's how you can tell that they are loved - like...
Friday, June 12
OH FOR F@$K'S SAKE! 6.12.09
I am going to keep this um, as anonymous as humanly possibly. There is a guy, let's call him Ted, who's "helping" us fix some issues with the drug den that we are semi-renovating (not on purpose, I assure you). We still need to install a smoke detector, because the dumbass renters that were in there ripped the old one out of the wall. I can only assume that this was because the battery was low and...
DOWN LIKE DISCO
A while back, a controversial video surfaced of a woman dragging her child through a Verizon store with the help of one of those backpack leashes. As I watched this disengaged mother pull her limp child, I was horrified that I wasn’t horrified. Instead, I thought to myself “I totally get that.” Apparently...
Friday, June 5
IT'S JUST A CAT
Continuation of the animal thing from earlier. I don't know how to be brief. Deal.
My family was so bad at dealing with cartoon animals that you would think we’d have stayed away from the living, breathing kind, but oh no. Once over a few beers, my Dad and I figured up how many cats that I’d had, compared...
THE HAPPIEST PLACE ON EARTH
I love animals. I really do. You can ask anyone that knows me, and they’ll tell you if you’ve got a sad animal story, you’d just better hold it until I am out of the room, buddy. And then you'll say, “I’m not your ‘buddy,’ friend." To which I'll reply, “I’m not your ‘friend,’ pal.” Then we’ll glare at each other and walk away, stopping only to briefly look one more time at one another over our shoulder.But...
Tuesday, June 2
OH FOR F@$K'S SAKE! 6.05.09
Let me preface this with, I’m not stupid and I like Chelsea Handler, or should I say, I did. While I will give her mad props for the title of her book, Are You There, Vodka? It’s Me, Chelsea, at being super clever at combing my two loves, booze and Judy Blume, the Chelsea of yore was way funnier in...