Friday, February 3


I've been doing Weight Watchers for awhile now. Or, should I say I had been doing Weight Watchers for awhile. In recent months I've kinda let the point-counting fall by the wayside in lieu of things like pizza and Girl Scout cookies. I know, I know, not the best attitude after all that hard work, but it's been fun to slack off a little. That is until recently.

I've noticed that my pants, which used to be big to the point of clown size, are starting to feel a little snug. Actually, they're becoming down-right uncomfortable or, as my Mom would say, "cutting me in half." That's 70s speak for taco crotch. You know you've got trouble, when you can't sit for long periods of time because your FUPA is making trouble for your entire lower half.

I should look on the bright side. I've let my diet run amok since Halloween, and it's only now that I am beginning to feel fruit of my labor in the presence of back fat. Lucky for me I instituted a diet safety net a while ago, by getting rid of all my fat clothes. I literally have no where to run from an expanding waistline. There are no fat pants lurking in my closet. All I kept are the super-fat pants, so if I grow out of the clothes I currently have, I'm going to have to go all in, because there isn't any middle ground.

Basically what this all boils down to is that I have to start dieting again. It's not really that bad, it's just an awful lot of work to think about every facet of food every time you eat. I think that was half the reason I lost weight. At a certain point I decided not eating was easier than trying to calculate points. And, as we all know, thinking isn't exactly my forte, but laziness is. 

That's why I usually settled for a frozen Weight Watchers for lunch. All I had to do was heat them up, and not do any math. However, like I mentioned, I've been making some not so good, but very tasty lunch choices as of late. That was before my pants started getting tight.

So today was my first day back on the Weight Watchers horse. I heated up my delightful lunch of Spinach and Ricotta cheese pasta in the microwave, and as I was waiting I happened to glance down at the directions that I'd looked at a hundred times. Now, in addition to the "cooking" directions, there is now a food saftey guideline that I'm supposed to follow. Apparently, I am to temp my lunch out to make sure that it's in the "safety zone" of 165 degrees. Oh, and I need to use a food thermometer. 

Yeah, I'm not doing this.
I'm sorry? Apparently Weight Watchers has no idea about the demographic that's buying their products. Hint: we're lazy. That's why we can't diet on our own. I'm heating up a microwavable lunch, for God's sake. I'm putting plastic in a microwave so I don't have to cook and now I'm supposed to hunt down a food thermometer and check the temperature. If I had the time, energy and wherewithal to do that, I'd fucking cook.